"I don't understand women"

The other day I was talking to my friend, George Stephanopoulos*, about his weekend.  George told me how a female friend of his held him hostage the entire weekend while she cried over a break up.  He was there for her, bringing her food and giving her comforting words and then the tears would start all over again. It got me thinking how nice it would have been if he had known that she would cry for days. What if she came with a manual and under the breakup section it had the following:

Break Ups:

*This woman will cry for 2 days.

*Be sure to have all errands ran and stock up on ice cream and movies

.

Then I wondered what my instruction booklet would say because every woman is different. And I gotta tell ya, being a woman is difficult sometimes. There are the hormonal mood swings where I’m literally checking the calendar and thinking Oh, I’m just moody. I really wouldn't get hurt over something like this. Shake it off. And days where I feel fat. Yeah, something is definitely happening to me. Lately I’ve been feeling more girly than usual. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my jeans and sneakers but recently I’m longing for the days were I wore dresses and skirts regularly.  I guess I’m going to have to find a balance. I’ve gotten off topic, let’s bring it back.  Maybe I should add “gets off topic” to my mine?

Before I go on, I want to say this is just for humor only and I’ll only scratch the surface of me. I can’t let everything be known about me. What’s that cliché? A woman’s heart is an ocean of secrets or something to that effect. So without further ado I give you my instructions:

Sadness (someone yelled at her)

*If crying just hug and say “Shake it off”.

Sadness (argument with friend/family)

*Hug followed by “It’ll work out”. Be sure to take her side.

Sadness (death or terminal illness of loved one)

*Just hold her for as long as needed. No words.

Valentine’s Day

*Send her favorite flowers to work.

*Take her to dinner.

Birthday

*Dinner. No gifts. Not even she knows what she wants for her birthday.

Competitions

Never let her win. She likes to beat you fair and square.

Quality Time

*One date a week.

How To Tell If She Likes You

*This woman does not come with that feature.

If only this were true. Guys, it’s really not that complicated. Just know the woman you have chosen. Some women are high maintenance and some just don’t care.  They can be mean or loving.  They can put up a front or a wall or they can let you in right away. Men seem to have it so easy. Too easy almost.  The rejection from a woman is the only thing that can put a little hiccup in your day, but you bounce back so quick.  You guys take about 30 minutes to get ready. How I wish that were true for me! You always seem stable and hardly change over the years.  I take at least an hour to get ready. I constantly have my guard up.  I hate losing to a guy. I’m both fascinated and yet terrified of the opposite sex.  Even though it seems complicated, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Because in all honesty, it feels good to be a woman.

*Not the real George Stephanopoulos. I’m now letting my guy friends pick their aliases. 

Time > Money

Oftentimes I get asked why I don’t go back to school and get my degree or seek a job with more money. My answer is time. I love the time I have with my family. Sure, I can get my degree and make more but those are hours with my family that I wouldn't be able to get back. They’re only little once. Besides, we’re doing fine with what I make and what I have budgeted. I don’t want to miss any games, plays or field days. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE school, I just love family time much more. I cherish every water fight, every game, every outing, basically every second I have with them.  I want them to look back and remember all the laughter and fun instead of me hitting the books and being too busy.

There will come a time when I’ll be able go back to school and more. Perhaps I’ll even enroll when my youngest does.  For now, though, they need me.  I have a teen and what teen doesn't need guidance? There’s no way I’ll pass that up. It’s not just the kids; it’s time with my mother when she’s in town. When I’m off for the day, I can spend time with her.  It’s the time with my siblings, even though it’s rare when we see each other, I treasure that.  

I guess I’m pretty loyal to the titles: mother, daughter, and sister. I do get “me time” and I enjoy it. I’m on a mini vacation from work as I type. One that I did not plan too well for! Ha ha.  I saw that both children would be away with camps and I thought Hmmm, why not take few days for myself? I really should have put more thought into this and planned a weekend getaway or something.  I’m dreadfully bored and even the roommate has noticed how quiet the house is without the kids.  I've visited and spent time with my peeps and have cleaned almost everything in this house.  Maybe next year I’ll add a line in my budget just for a situation like this but this is the first time this happened. Last year when I was alone I put in overtime so I wouldn't be bored. Come to think of it, I didn't even take a full week off last year either! But I digress...

Some people have an awesome support system to where they can go back like a spouse or parents and I think that’s great. But for me, it’s just me deciding how to spend time wisely.  And with that, family comes first.

With A Little Help From My Friends

I’ve had a best friend since second grade. Now it may not be the same best friend but I’ve always had one since I was seven. I seem to get a new one during different phases of my life. It happens. One of you moves away or goes to another school or it could be that you just grow apart. Still, I love how my close friends have been there for momentous occasions in my life. And yes, at times my significant others became my best friend. But lately, I’ve been finding myself becoming a loner. Not on purpose, but as adults we all have busy lives and sometimes schedules don’t always match up. When ALL of your female friends are married with children, you have to work around them.  I still have my guy friends though, and they are just as cool. The only thing is that I can’t talk to them about everything. But they’re still cool.

When I first started my job five years ago, there was something missing. I looked around and saw no one close to me in age. No females in their 20’s?!?!  How was I going to survive? Who would I email? Who would get pop culture references and random movie quotes???  Everyone was in their 40’s and up. So I kept my head down and ignored everyone. I would put my headphones on and just get work done. But I began to get lonely at work. I began wishing one of my friends would get a job there just so I could dine with someone at lunch.

In one of my earlier blog posts “All They Can Do Is Say No”, I revealed about taking chances and moving to different departments within the company.  I’m not sure how it started but by my 3rd year there I began taking breaks with an older woman.  We would go for walks on our breaks (we still do) and vent or talk about things going on in our lives.  I figure, why not? Let me try this out and really give it a shot.  The age difference would provide some insight.  I’m glad I did.  The woman had a lot of inside information since she had been with the company for a long time. Then I branched out and started talking to all the older ladies in my section. When our department moved I found a coworker closer to me in age (by this time I’m in my thirties).

I’m so glad I did this.  It has made work FUN. I come to the older ladies anytime I have a dilemma that could use their expertise and once a woman sewed the hem on my pants because she had a sewing kit and I ripped them somehow.  And with my young friend, I have someone to instant message about regarding clothes and other girly things.  We also have men in our department and in my old department we didn't have any.  I notice a huge difference with having men on the team. Women can be emotional creatures.  The men balance us out a lot and I love hearing their suggestions. We once had a video conference regarding my new haircut.  I had a heart to heart talk with one of my male coworkers and it felt good to get some things off of my chest.  I’ll email him for advice on some things and sometimes I’ll tell him when he is being too harsh on other employees (he’s a lead).

During this loner phase, I’ve found that I have really grown close to my coworkers.  I love them and their different personalities and I can't imagine not having them now.  Recently, we gave out yearbook awards.  Everyone got a certificate and what they were voted as.  I was voted Class Clown.  There was Coolest Employee, Best Dressed, Best Dancer, etc. etc. etc.

I love the social version of me a lot better than the quiet employee that I used to be.  I’m so late on this revelation but it is true, friends are all around us, we just have to be open to them. 

The Third Option

What would you do if you were seeing someone and things seemed well, but then your ex whom you've recently gotten over has come back into your life? And no, I’m not talking about me, lol, I never look back. Someone close to me has this dilemma.  

Healing FULLY after a breakup is important. I don’t believe in seeing other people to get over someone. We’re all much stronger than that. Pat* fell in love with the rebound.  But in recent events Pat’s ex has come back not knowing about the new love. Pat has not told Ex about New Love but New Love knows about Ex. After discussing this, I did get somewhat to the heart of the matter. New Love is good person and even thought Pat has slight reservations regarding New Love, Pat feels that if they break up and New Love leaves then what if that was Pat’s only chance to be with someone who is as good as Pat has been with.

So to review we have Pat with strong feelings for New Love but also letting Ex come in through a crack in the relationship, not fully but ever so slightly. Of course I sat back and let Pat be Pat. But I did leave on this note: Just because you didn't choose Ex doesn't mean you have to choose New Love. There is always that third option. Neither. 

I can see Pat struggles with feelings of loneliness.  People make mistakes and get involved with the wrong people because of those feelings. Sometimes they find the right one but their desperation and clinginess is a turn off and the other person runs.  

I hope things turn out well for Pat in the end. I don’t want to see anyone I care about hurt or confused. Just remember, sometimes door #3 is you.  You deserve the best. 

*I'm trying to remain as vague as possible on gender. Unisex name it is!

The Short Hair Chronicles (Episode 1?)

A few weeks ago I had a migraine. Not only that, my head felt like it was on fire. My neck hurt, too, for some reason. I quickly deduced that it must be that my hair is too long.  When your hair is down to your bum it can feel quite heavy. Frantically I opened drawers looking for scissors. I called to my daughter to bring me some of her scissors. When she asked why I responded that I was going to cut my hair.  Sensing I was about to make a horrible decision….she ran off and got them.

Yeah, it was kind of like this.

Using geometry, I figured that putting my hair in a high pony tail on my head and then pulling it to the front and away from my face about 5 inches would get me the desired results. This angle would make the hair in front shorter than the hair in the back.  I bent over the trash can and began hacking away.  When I was done I pulled my hair out of the band and shook my hair. “Cool! You should be a barber!” exclaimed my daughter.  I didn’t feel like correcting her, I just ran to a mirror.  Not bad.  It did look layered in the front, but the back was slightly uneven.  Plus my hair still felt heavy.

I started harassing everyone I knew that had good hair for the name of their stylist. Finally, I got one.  His name was Israel and he works out of Haute Innovations. If you’re in the DFW area you should check him out.  My friend gave me his link on Schedulicity and I set up an appointment. Since he does not take walk-ins this would ensure that I would be his only focus during my time there.

I then perused the interwebs for celebrities that I look nothing like.  Google searches for “Eva Mendes Short Hair”  “Penelope Cruz Long Bob” and “Selena Gomez Thick Hair Bob” began to take place. I settled on 3 different looks and printed them out and went to bed.

Twinsies!

But I couldn’t really fall asleep.  What if it didn’t look right? Will it be elementary school all over again?  You see, I had a bad bob back in the day.  Maybe it was a good bob, but at 10 I didn’t know much about styling or controlling frizz.  I consoled myself with the fact that technology in hairstyling tools and products has come a long way since the 80’s and 90’s. No, this is going to be a good thing. I will pull this off.

The morning of the cut was like the first day of school. I even dressed up. I worked from home that day so my usual uniform is yoga pants and a band or superhero shirt.  Not today, my friends.  Today I was going in dressed professional and even did full make up.  I meant business. 

I walked in and felt so at ease. Talk about hitting it off right away.  We talked and talked and talked and I had confidence that it was going to go well.  When he was done he spun me around and I absolutely loved it! I was just what I needed because I was in a rut.  My hair was long, one length, utterly boring.  Now it had some flair and went with my personality.  I hugged him and thanked him.  Also I didn’t want to leave, lol, we had such a good time talking.  I really wanted to call in and tell my boss I wanted the rest of the day off. I just wanted to stay and talk to Israel all day.  Working at home keeps me from socializing a lot as you can see.

After work I sent pictures to my mom and family. I also kept walking by mirrors and turning my head swiftly so my hair would shake with my movements.  So I have a cut and style that I liked, the real test is how well I would style it after I washed it. I won’t keep you in suspense. I handled up and styled it! Although, I did forget my hair was short when I took a shower and I accidentally poured a huge blob of shampoo.  I do love that I’m saving money on products. But it’s weeks later and my hair grows super-fast and I need a cut again.  Argh!!!!

I love it this length. Don’t get me wrong, I plan to let my hair grow out as soon as life slows down and I can go back to spending an hour on it. But for now, at this busy point in my life, it’s perfect.  If you want to take a look it’s on my Twitter profile pic. @TheTrueSandy

It Gets Easier

Today I was remembering a time back in the day when I had an infant and a toddler at the same time. It was just the three of us.  Even then, I felt compelled to help out the community in some way.  I’ve had this desire to give back and I think it happened when I had children. Before them, I was selfish and all about me, me, me.  During this time we lived in some really rundown apartments. But it was the constant thought of “how can I help those doing worse than me?”  Because no matter how bad we have it, someone is always doing worse.

I remember a school supply fundraiser happening and I wanted to do something to help, anything really.  I signed up and was assigned to stand on a median with 3 others one Saturday morning (you have to have a permit to do this, by the way). I paid a friend to watch my children and began the exhausting day of gathering donations.  In the end, I realized that what I received was around what I paid for a babysitter.  A friend had watched my children and, even though she would have done it for free, I wanted pay her. 

"Because no matter how bad we have it, someone is always doing worse."

This might seem like common sense but I suspect there are other people out there like me. We want to help, we want to get involved but we also have small children. There were a couple of times where I was guilt-tripped into volunteering.  But I had to realize that it’s okay to say no; a time would come when they would be older and I could help then.  It’s okay to focus on just my kids.  They’re only little once. I could see if a volunteer opportunity came up where I could take my little ones, but that’s extremely rare.

There were other times where I solely wanted to talk to other adult. I ran into another mom who currently  has a similar situation as I once did. I assured her, it gets easier. I know its tiring doing everything for two little people, but they get older. In the meantime, enjoy it.  Before you know it, you’re sending them off to school.  And then if you volunteer for anything you can bring them with you! lol I’m glad I took a step back when they were little because now I’m so involved with their schools, our community, and signing up for so many other things that we are extremely busy.

Now it’s better because they can help out alongside me and I want to show them that we have to take care of each other in this world.  So if anyone reading this was in my shoes and you feel lonely and tired, I just want to say that it does get easier….. until they’re teenagers. ;)

Movie Review: Man of Steel

Movie Review

Man of Steel

Rated PG-13:
Sci-fi Violence
Destruction
Language

I saw Man of Steel yesterday and wanted to share my opinion on the movie. I’ll try my best to keep it as spoiler free as possible.

In a nutshell, I loved it. Was it flawless? There was one teeny thing that bugged me; I may put it in the comments in case anyone doesn't want to know.

Going into the movie I was a little upset at a few changes so I was ready to be the first to say I didn’t like it, but then I became sold on Christopher Nolan’s vision. For one, they removed the red briefs he wears over his suit and it proved to be a good move. I guess I was  just wanting classic Superman. Secondly, the “S” on his chest was his Kryptonian symbol for “hope”. I also liked that change as well. To bring Superman into modern times these minor adjustments were needed.

I love the fact that they made the character manly. As a child he wasn’t “aw shucks” and as a man he chose some odd jobs that fit a character that wanted to lay low. (I loved that they didn’t make Henry Cavill shave his chest, I thought it was sexy.) There were some aspects that reminded me of Smallville. The fact that he had to come to grips with who he is and who he is meant to be weighed heavily on Kal-El. They stayed true to Superman being a golden boy and never wanting to kill anyone. And Nolan did it wonderfully.

Henry Cavill nailed the character and I’m glad because I had a few reservations about him. I can still picture him in “The Tudors”. He was actually perfect for the part. Amy Adams as Lois Lane was another choice that I wasn’t sure about. I think it was the hair color that threw me. As I watched the movie, I was glad that they focused on her being a hard hitting journalist.  She wasn’t this annoying damsel and she wasn’t this vixen either. She was just Lois and her feelings for Clark were slowly revealed instead of instant love.

I can’t say enough about how great Diane Lane and Kevin Costner were as Martha and Jonathan Kent. I’m really pleased that they were added to the franchise. Basically the movie had awesome casting.

I am reading that “critics” are writing unfavorable reviews and the conspiracy theorist in me says that they must remain loyal to Iron Man 3 or lose their jobs. Lol. But seriously, if we must compare, I had several issues with IM3 and Man of Steel absolutely blew it out of the water.

There you have it. To summarize: I loved Man of Steel, I think Henry Cavill is hot and manly, and I wish critics would stop with the DC/Marvel comparisons.

World War Z is next on my movie agenda. Here's the trailer:

ZOMG. Did you see that at 2:05!? Just crawling over each other super fast! Is team work part of the disease!?!?