5 Signs You're Not Ready To Date

You've been single a while and you’re feeling like you’re ready to get back out there. The word has gone out, you are looking. But there’s a difference between wanting to date and actually being ready. Do you have all of your ducks in a row? Find out below in the top 5 list.

1.     You aren't fully self-supporting. There are women out there who look at dating as a way to get a second income. Stop right there. If you aren't standing on your own two feet financially then it’s best to get that taken care of before you date. One guy informed me that he was on a dating site and he had no job and no way of taking a woman out. The sad thing is, women still met with him, but that’s a whole other post. 

2.     You’re still not over your ex. Whether it’s a break up or a death, make sure you've healed before going out. It’s not fair to get serious with someone when your heart's not 100% in the relationship.  If the shoe was on the other foot, you'd want the other person to be fully into you so extend the same courtesy. That means no thinking about the ex (unless you have to discuss children), no comparing anyone to the ex, and no running to the ex when life gets difficult.

3.     You’re selfish. It’s all about you. What you want and when you want it. And maybe you’re in med school and you don’t have time to date, you just need someone who is there the whole time.  And yes, you can probably find someone who is willing to go along with you Mr. Bossypants, but relationships are a two way street.  It’s give and take. You don’t want to be with someone who is going to end up resenting you because you followed your dreams the entire time.  So for right now, try to get your major goals out of the way (there's nothing wrong with that). Or just learn to compromise.

                                                      Photo courtesy of Jaz Levario.  www.Photosbyjaz.net 

4.     You don’t know who you are yet. This character is the exact opposite of the above mentioned. I've heard this phrase uttered by women who jumped into serious relationships and mold themselves according to their significant other. One day they wake up and panic. Is this really them? Is this what they wanted? If they’re already married then let’s hope so. But if not, there is still time to find out what you want to do and who you want to be. Relationships aren't two halves coming together to make a whole, relationships are two wholes combined to be a team, and an awesome team at that. One that supports each other and lifts each other when life knocks them down. Don’t look to your significant other to be your happiness, make sure your own happiness and self-worth is what you’re bringing to the table. When you are confident in who you are then you start attracting like-minded individuals and repelling the ones who are not are your level.

5.     All you do is think about being with someone. There are romantics and there are hopeless romantics. These are the ones who are in love with the idea of being in love. Every outing they are searching and scoping the room looking for potentials. They are eager, sometimes intense and just too forward. These types of people want to get serious fast. If this sounds like you, stop, take a deep breath and reevaluate why you want to find love so quickly. Remember, you can’t put a time frame on love, it’ll happen when it does. Don’t give yourself a certain age to “meet, marry, and make babies”. More often than not, that backfires leaving you with nothing but heartache.  Right now just stop and smell the roses. Enjoy being single. It’s all in your attitude and approach.

So singles, did I leave anything out? Is this just about everything one needs to take care of before being about to date? Add your own to the list by commenting.