Movie Review: Hansel and Gretel

Movie Review

*Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

*May contain spoilers

A diabetic and virginal Hansel (played by Jeremy Renner) fights alongside his gorgeous, tough-as-nails sister Gretel (played by Gemma Arterton). Incestuous stares are shared throughout the movie as they slay witches left and right and also unlock the key to their past.

I viewed it in IMAX 3D which, correct me if I’m wrong, is two different things beautifully put together. I went in with a “meh” kind of attitude and low expectations. But it turned out to be a fun movie and the special effects were unbelievable. All movies now need to be shown in IMAX 3D.

Stop eyeing her, she's your sister, bro

From what I gather, and also because I don’t feel like researching this, Hansel really did eat a butt load of candy and the message is clear: too much of a good thing will give you diabetes. Witch hunting also doesn't give room for them to get to know members of the opposite sex because Hansel was oblivious when a young beautiful ginger was flirting with him.  Gretel has her own scenes except they’re not with a human and there's no flirtation. 

There’s a lot of witchcraft and attempts to sacrifice children which made me a little uncomfortable. I always get squeamish with horror movies that include little kids (except for the Hunger Games). But the action scenes were well worth the price of admission! 

I give it 2 very enthusiastic **Megan Fox clubbed thumbs UP.

Rated R:            

Violence

Gore

Language

Nudity

Also starring Famke Janssen as the mother of all witches. 

And since we’re on the topic of movies, A Good Day To Die Hard hits theaters February 14^th and is preceded by a Die Hard marathon at select theaters.  If I can’t make it to the marathon I know how I’m spending my Valentine’s Day. 

**I know Megan Fox only has one clubbed thumb.